The February chapter meetings of the network have been featuring a presentation by Bob Penney, a retired police officer from Champlin who is making a great post-retirement career by training groups on personal safety. We asked Bob to attend our chapter meetings to provide HOA leaders with some insights about what to do in the event of a verbal or (God forbid) physical altercation that may occur. You wouldn’t think that personal safety is violated all that often, but at the Eagan chapter meeting on February 11, I asked the room full of attendees who has had a tense situation with a key constituent that made them feel uncomfortable. More than half the room raised their hands.

As a board leader, I too have experienced some difficult situations. One wonders if it’s a sign of the times in our culture, or if the decisions faced by boards are becoming more controversial. It’s likely a lot of both.

Bob had a few great suggestions for de-escalation of tense issues in a variety of settings. We highly recommend that members attend our chapter meetings this month to get the full gist of Bob’s training, but here are some highlights.

Situational Tense Times

• If the person is getting upset or yelling, tell them you want to listen to them, but you can’t understand them if they are yelling
• After the person is done telling you the issue, Paraphrase their concern
• Tell them you will address this issue at the next board meeting and will contact them
• If the person becomes irate or physical back away and call 911

Preparing Meetings

• Identify Concerns/Issues that may be brought up
• Speak to other board members about all the (difficult) issues
• Expect and allow residents to present their issues/concerns
• Use active listening skills; Listen without being defensive
• Understand the difference between Verbal Aggressiveness and Physical Violence
• If concerned about any resident’s behavior, conduct meeting virtually

At Meetings

• After listening to resident(s), respond using some of these suggestions:
  • Ask what the resident would like you to do
  • Thank them for allowing you the opportunity to address this issue
  • Explain what decisions were made, and why
  • Never make excuses, only explanations